Misguided Chivalry

Today on the bus, I experienced one of the many events that over the years have made me very glad to be too poor to buy a car.

While I was already seated on the sideways seat by the rear door, two young men got on the bus and moved to the back and stood in front of the door. The men were swearing loudly and profusely, however, this is hardly a rarity, so I barely even looked up from my book when I heard them. A few stops later, an elderly lady got on the bus and walked to the back of the bus. Though the men may not have seen this, she walked by about three or four perfectly good seats in which she could easily have chosen to sit.

Upon seeing the lady walk past them, one of the men exclaimed loudly (presumably to the other, though everyone on the bus could easily hear): "I hate when people do that! No one got up to let that fucking old lady sit down!"

Now, admittedly the sentiment behind the man's statement was, for lack of a better word, touching, there were at least two things that he either didn't realize, or else chose to completely ignore.

Thing #1: As I mentioned earlier, there were about three or four open seats that the lady could easily have chosen to occupy, but which, for some reason she ignored on her way to the back of the bus. One of them was next to me! (Though, due to the fact that I have a very intimidating mustache, I can understand why she may have chosen to pass that one up.)

Thing #2: The old lady could hear the man very clearly, and immediately after hearing him call her a "fucking old lady" she looked as if she were about to cry. I was able to make momentary eye contact with the lady and made a dismissive eye rolling gesture at the loud man, which made her smile, but the whole thing really got me wondering: Is it possible that chivalry is really nothing more than another way for men to say to women: "you are not good enough to do things for yourself--that's why men should do stuff for you!"?

Maybe it is, and maybe that's just my lame excuse for not throwing my jacket into a puddle any time a woman walks by...