Unicorn Action Hotline Final Update

Hey Gang,

It's my sad duty to let you all know that, due to some unfortunate events, the Unicorn Action Hotline will be closing down for good. Yesterday, while responding to an emergency call on the Unicorn Action Hotline, three rescue workers were gored to death by a rabid unicorn. The Unicorn was on the 200-block of Elgin Street when it was spotted by a local woman. She called the Unicorn Action Hotline and reported that the Unicorn was foaming at the mouth, while it tried to make love to a white Honda Civic.

All of us on the Unicorn Action Hotline Squad are deeply saddened to see this beautiful dream come to end, but then, everything does.

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful support over the last three or four days that the Unicorn Action Hotline was actually in service, though I must admit I'm still baffled by the surprisingly high number of prank calls we received.

Maybe it was just a coincidence...

Highlights of Week 1 of the Unicorn Action Hotline:

Hi Gang. It's time for an update after the first week of the wildly successful Unicorn Action Hotline.

Number of calls taken: 892

Number of prank calls: 881

Number of legitimate calls: 11

One call reported a unicorn which had been beaten and left for dead in the Osborne Village area. A medical emergeny unit was sent to the area, and the unicorn was revived in hospital. Police are waiting for him to regain consciousness so they can track down his assailant.

Another call reported a unicorn who was passed out in a bus shack downtown. The unicorn had apparently pooped him self and was not responding to attempts to wake him up. A unit was sent to the seen, where it was discovered that the unicorn was not a unicorn at all, but rather a drunk homeless dude.

Yet another call was fielded which led authorities to the site of a magical unicorn factory. The factory was promptly shut down by police as, in addition to making unicorns, it was also found to be manufacturing and processing heroin.

Stay tuned for more updates!

Unicorn action Hotline!

Hey everybody,

I recently came up with a great idea. I'm going to start a service in Winnipeg that deals exclusively with unicorn related emergencies! Stay tuned in the next few days for a complete set of details and a few examples of some of the unicorn related emergencies we've dealth with so far!