Highlights of Week 1 of the Unicorn Action Hotline:

Hi Gang. It's time for an update after the first week of the wildly successful Unicorn Action Hotline.

Number of calls taken: 892

Number of prank calls: 881

Number of legitimate calls: 11

One call reported a unicorn which had been beaten and left for dead in the Osborne Village area. A medical emergeny unit was sent to the area, and the unicorn was revived in hospital. Police are waiting for him to regain consciousness so they can track down his assailant.

Another call reported a unicorn who was passed out in a bus shack downtown. The unicorn had apparently pooped him self and was not responding to attempts to wake him up. A unit was sent to the seen, where it was discovered that the unicorn was not a unicorn at all, but rather a drunk homeless dude.

Yet another call was fielded which led authorities to the site of a magical unicorn factory. The factory was promptly shut down by police as, in addition to making unicorns, it was also found to be manufacturing and processing heroin.

Stay tuned for more updates!