It's my sad duty to let you all know that, due to some unfortunate events, the Unicorn Action Hotline will be closing down for good. Yesterday, while responding to an emergency call on the Unicorn Action Hotline, three rescue workers were gored to death by a rabid unicorn. The Unicorn was on the 200-block of Elgin Street when it was spotted by a local woman. She called the Unicorn Action Hotline and reported that the Unicorn was foaming at the mouth, while it tried to make love to a white Honda Civic.
All of us on the Unicorn Action Hotline Squad are deeply saddened to see this beautiful dream come to end, but then, everything does.
Thank you to everyone for your wonderful support over the last three or four days that the Unicorn Action Hotline was actually in service, though I must admit I'm still baffled by the surprisingly high number of prank calls we received.
Maybe it was just a coincidence...
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