Tackling a Transit Taboo

I realized recently that if I'm going to have a blog about taking public transportation, sooner or later I'm going to need to talk about bus flatulence.

We've all been there: on a long bus ride, when we feel the rumble that warns of the winds of change. In this case of course, the change I'm referring to is the change from not stinky to stinky.

My personal policy has always been to fart as sneakily as possible when on the bus, and only when there are least three people present, as it's very hard to pass the buck when there's only one other person around. "Who farted? uhh.. you did!"

I realized the other day that not only am I sneaky about farting, but I'm more likely to do it when I'm sitting beside someone who looks more likely to fart on a bus than me.

I was on the bus feeling the rumble and considering my options. All of a sudden, a lady got on the bus, and I immediately began intensely hoping she would sit beside me; she was perfect! She had a pretty severe case of the crazy eyes, and was wearing a big ratty wig with a chin strap. I could see as she was walking down the aisle towards me that she had her eye on the open seat beside me. I'd already let go of about half of the goods by the time she sat down next to me. Only a few minutes later, everyone within nose-shot was giving her the dirtiest looks you can imagine, while I was just sitting there beaming and soaking it all in.

It worked so well, that it makes me wonder how many people have done the same to me. I do have a mullet...

social media and mass transportation...

So I was on the bus the other day, and I was creeping on the guy next to me for lack of anything better to do, when I saw that he was updating his Twitter account from his phone. I realize that some people refer to this as "Tweeting", however I choose to abstain from using this term as I find it incredibly lame.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about Twitter as a medium, compared to other social networking sites such as Facebook (or the ancient site recently discovered by anthro-paleontologists which was apparently called "Myspace").

Though I've never really liked Twitter, I realize that it definitely does have some useful features, that aren't really incorporated into it's Face-Space counterparts:

Twitter is really great for letting people know what you are thinking about having for dinner. It's 140 character maximum for posts ensures that nothing of any real substance can be conveyed through it.

Facebook, on the other hand, is much more in depth, giving users room to write essentially what amount to small novellas about themselves, and to their friends and acquaintances in the form of messages or postings. Blogs, like the one I'm currently writing (and none of you are currently reading) share this feature.

On advantage that Twitter does have over other forms of social media however, is the immediacy that it carries. Many people have their twitter accounts sent or linked to their cell phones, so Twitter has actually become a primary means for some people to stay connected to current events or to friends and family. (How else am I supposed to find out what my brother is planning to watch on DVD later tonight?)

Twitter seems like a great way to direct people to OTHER places on the web that actually DO have meaningful content.

Another great feature that has not eluded me, that Twitter holds over the heads of other social media sites is its ease of use. It can easily be updated, say, on the bus, whereas other sites take a little more effort to maintain. Having something like Twitter to keep people occupied on the bus, for example, is a good way to keep people from doing creepy things, like watching strangers update their Twitter accounts.

Winter Bicycles

So, I have to admit that, though I do understand the attraction for some people to ride their bicycles in the winter, here in our fair city, I've also always thought it was s pretty stupid thing to do, given how icy and slippery roads can get. I've never had any ethical problem with those who do it, because, unlike drunk drivers, some hipster on a bike in the snow isn't liable to kill anyone. The only person he is placing at risk is himself. That kind of risk (the kind that doesn't involve me), I am perfectly fine with.

That being said, I saw a guy on his bike the other day as I was waiting for my bus, and I actually thought to myself: "Damn, Self, that guy just might have the right idea. Instead of waiting around here like a sucker, he's getting where he needs to go on his own terms, and under his own power."

I was actually very inspired and was fully planning to take my bike to school the next day, until I looked back at him, and saw him wipe out right in front of a bus. I did the obligatory 'wait to see if he's ok' before I laughed my ass off.

I think part of the reason I laughed so hard is that I felt like an idiot for almost doing the exact same thing.